Much Needed Friends
by evil chick
Summary: Shinji and Kaworu begin to show signs of a friendship but Kaworu wants something else. Though his main problem is Shinji is too busy in love with Asuka. Last chapter up see who gets who! Please read and review. KS and SA
1. Alone

This fan fiction isn't exactly my first or the last. It just came to mind and I just wrote how I felt into the characters from my favorite show. It isn't the best but I tried so please no flaming but I'm open to minor criticism. Hee Hee I hope you like it. I'll always keep all the Evangelion characters close to my heart!!!!! Never will I forget them.  
  
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It was a bright and sunny day in the technological beauty known as Tokyo-3 and Shinji was lying in the outskirts of town. The grass blew with the flow of the wind and calmed down the worried young adult. School as well as his less than normal personal life was getting the most of him so he needed to relax. The new Eva pilot had arrived and he looked like he enjoyed the company of Shinji. Shinji was thinking of trying to be his friend but was too scared to actually approach this strange pilot, so thoughts of the silver haired teenager clouded his mind. Asuka approached Shinji abruptly and scared him. "What are you doing alone in a stupid place like this, Ikari!" she angrily nudged the side of his chest with her small foot. Shinji rolled onto his back and stared into Asuka's light blue eyes. She scared him a lot but he seemed to be used to being abused by Asuka both physically as well as mentally.  
  
" Hello Asuka," he said sluggishly hoping she would leave once her existence was known. She smiled at him ruthlessly and dragged him by the arm underneath a shady tree.  
  
"There have been rumors about Kaworu and since you are his best friend you could tell me the truth. So is he a little girly? Well you know what I mean." Shinji had a blank face and he didn't exactly know what the conniving girl meant. Asuka became irritated with Shinji so she hit him across the head. " Believe me you might just find out the truth the hard way." Shinji still was confused and he rubbed his head where she had hit him.  
  
"That really hurt Asuka!" he said angrily. Asuka glared at him but remained quiet as she left him alone in the grass. He thought to himself for a few minutes but was disturbed by Kaworu who was looking for him. Kaworu smiled as he sat next to Shinji. Shinji became nervous and waited for Kaworu to talk to him.  
  
"So do you have a crush on Ms. Soryu or is it just my imagination?" said Kaworu full of interest. Shinji blushed and didn't exactly know if he could deny how he felt. Though for some reason he told Kaworu everything and couldn't seem to stop himself. "Shinji.it's so obvious. It's okay if you like her. It's not like I'd care at all," said Kaworu who knew he was lying to Shinji but he hid his nervousness well.  
  
Shinji sighed and turned a light pink once he thought of actually being able to date Asuka. "I don't think she likes me at all. She wouldn't be stupid enough to go out with me anyways and I doubt I fall in her list of manly men." Kaworu laughed and pat Shinji's back.  
  
"Well I'd like to go out with you!" there was an awkward silence as Shinji realized what Kaworu had said to him. Kaworu blushed and immediately corrected himself, "Umm I mean if I were Asuka. You know you are a nice guy and you're handsome for a male." Shinji laughed and sat up.  
  
"You are joking right? You know I'm stupid as well as ugly and that makes me hard to like. Just look at my personality, Kaworu. If someone actually wanted to be my friend they'd be stupid."  
  
"So are you saying that I'm stupid for liking you the way you are?" said Kaworu who waiting for some sort of reaction from the insecure boy. Shinji didn't mean to insult him and tried to apologize to him at once.  
  
"Oh I'm so sorry," Shinji's eyes opened wide as he realized what the other boy had said to him. "You're my friend?"  
  
"Well that's kind of what I would think since we always hang out all the time." Shinji's dark blue eyes seemed to glisten at the fact that he had a new best friend. Kaworu smiled at him with his long mouth and was happy that Shinji actually appreciated his company. The wind blew harder and the bright clouds started to darken. It looked like it was going to rain and soon enough heavy rain began to fall on both of the boys. The best friends fled the grassy plains and looked for some shelter but they couldn't find any.  
  
They saw Asuka in the rain too and she appeared to be lost as well. Shinji ran towards her. He was worried about Asuka getting sick so he pulled her along with him. "I don't want to go anywhere with you two idiots!" She was dripping wet and was sneezing constantly. Shinji held her in his arms and Kaworu glared at Asuka who was trying shove off Shinji. "I'm not a baby! I can walk by myself!" She managed to push him off. Kaworu looked at Shinji's sad reaction to Asuka pushing him away.  
  
"I just don't want for you to get sick, Asuka." He stood with Kaworu as Asuka abandoned him in the rain. Asuka ran away from them and went back into the city.  
  
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Shinji threw himself on the bed and looked at Kaworu as he got out some towels for them to dry themselves with. Kaworu handed Shinji a warm blue towel and smiled at him. Shinji dried his soaking wet hair but couldn't seem to dry it. Kaworu looked at him from the corner of his eye and found himself blushing at the sight of Shinji's blue eyes. Shinji noticed Kaworu looking at him and smiled. "What's wrong Kaworu?"  
  
"Oh nothing's wrong at all." he laughed and his red eyes brightened. Shinji became skeptical of what the other friend had said. Kaworu began to heat up some water to make Shinji some hot chocolate. He tried his best to not boil the water too much because it might burn Shinji.  
  
Shinji stopped trying to dry his hair and stared at Kaworu concentrating on the simple task of boiling water. "Do you need help over there?"  
  
"No thanks but you should stay where you are and keep warm. I wouldn't want you to get ill on me and die." Shinji had a surprised look on his face because of how much Kaworu cared about him.  
  
"Thanks Kaworu."  
  
"For what?" He questioned Shinji because he didn't understand his choice of words. Shinji was happy that he actually had a friend that cared about him and listened to what he said. Kaworu poured the hot water into the NERV cup where he put a few spoonfuls of cocoa. He handed Shinji the cup of cocoa without asking him if he wanted any but he basically insisted that he drink it.  
  
"You know, being a good friend. Before I couldn't be able to relax with my friends and talk to them about anything without stalling at all. I'm just happy that I think you're the only person who understands me." Kaworu sighed and lightly blushed at Shinji's grateful comment.  
  
"No I should thank you for being my friend as well. Well, you're my only friend." Kaworu admitted to himself that he liked Shinji a lot and didn't find any flaws in his personality. He vowed to help Shinji to not be so insecure but it looked hard to change his mind after everything he went through. Kaworu sat next to him and purposely got lost in Shinji's sad dark blue eyes. Shinji looked to the floor once they were eye to eye and thought about what Asuka was trying to say about Kaworu. He tried to shake the thought out of his head but instead something else came to mind.  
  
"Kaworu?" he looked back at him. "Do you think anyone would care if I died?"  
  
"Well first thing of course, my life would be crushed because of your loss. And I doubt that no one other than me would care. Asuka and Misato would probably miss you too. You mean a lot to everyone you know, especially me." Shinji smiled at him but he decided that words couldn't express how happy he was to have a close friend. It was still raining outside but the force of the rain was dying down. Though everything was murky and muddy, so they couldn't go back to the grassy part of town. Everything was silent except the sound of the rain dripping down onto the building. Shinji sipped the hot cocoa and grinned at Kaworu at how good it tasted. Kaworu threw himself on the bed because he was bored and had nothing to do. "This isn't the best day in the world is it?" Shinji nodded.  
  
"All I know is that Asuka isn't in the best mood either. She tends to be mean everyday but today she's been worse." Kaworu remained quiet when it came to talking about Asuka, for some reason he didn't exactly like the fact that she could easily win Shinji's love but didn't seem to care. Every time he heard her name he would instantly grimace at the thought of her ruthlessness towards poor Shinji. He knew Shinji was helplessly in love with the German redhead but there were signs his fragile heart would be cold bloodily broken by the domineering girl.  
  
"Why don't you just forget her. The sad truth is that she doesn't like you at all, so there isn't the best chance of you actually getting her to feel the same." Shinji frowned at him but didn't say anything to the jealous boy.  
  
"I already accepted the truth when I first met her. She has no need for an idiot like me but that didn't stop me from liking her a little bit more than a regular acquaintance." Shinji turned his head away from Kaworu, "NEVER bring this up ever again! You know it hurts me to talk about these sort of things." Kaworu became scared that Shinji was really angry at him and was ready to apologize to him.  
  
" I didn't mean to offend you but I was trying to spare you the sadness. I just don't want her to distress you in any way. You know I love you with all my heart Shinji and I'd like you to be happy but it just can't be her." Shinji backed away from him but was so stunned with what he said. Kaworu was really creeping him out now and Shinji wanted to leave Kaworu's room. Instead, he rushed out of the room with out any good byes to the sad Kaworu. Kaworu looked the other way hoping this was all just a bad dream. He hated to hurt Shinji when he was trying to tell him how he felt about him. It stopped raining and the moon was the only light in his petty room.  
  
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I hope you liked this fic so far. Please review this so I could know if you want the second chapter. Thank you for reading this though. 


	2. Realization

Wow you stuck around for the second chapter. Thanks I hope you like the second chapter. Well I'll be quiet now.  
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Shinji opened the door to his house and saw Asuka lying down on the floor wearing mini shorts and a tank top. Shinji smiled at her beauty or at least the beauty he saw in her. She turned towards him, "What were you doing for so long Shin-chan. Were you with Kaworu?"  
  
"Yeah. Since when would you care where the hell I am?" He placed the keys on the kitchen table and was ready for a playful argument with the girl he loved.  
  
"You might have died out there and I'd be stuck with all the chores in this house. You know I'm not exactly the best when it comes to cooking and I doubt Misato is either." She smirked and Shinji smiled back at her. Pen-pen raised his small head lazily and saw Shinji had come back. He squeaked a weak hello and threw his head to the pillow where it once was before. Shinji smiled at the penguin and walked to his room when Asuka called his name. "Hey Shinji come over here." Shinji didn't know why she called him and went towards her.  
  
"What is it?" She patted at the carpet signaling for him to sit next to her. He sat on the floor and looked at her while trying to not doubt her trust.  
  
"Would you like to go with me to the because Misato sent me to go grocery shopping and I don't know what to get. So will you go with me?" She got closer to Pen-pen and hugged him.  
  
"Oh sure." Those were the only words that came out of his mouth when others came to mind.  
  
"Let me change right now and then we'll go." She got up and passed by Shinji. He looked at her long legs and sighed. All of her was so beautiful but he would never have the gull to ask her out. Though instead he tried to forget everything that Kaworu had told him. He didn't want to remember how much Asuka really hated and constantly used him. No matter what he still felt the same towards her but it always led to more sorrow than ever. He closed his eyes and the demons of his heart made him more insecure about what Asuka thought about him.  
  
Asuka slid open the door to her room to see Shinji with his eyes closed. She assumed he was asleep so she became angered and kicked him. "What's the big deal with you!!! I thought you were going to go with me to the supermarket you loser!!!" She threw her purse at his head and he screamed.  
  
"What the hell is wrong with you Asuka!!!"  
  
"What t'hell is wrong with you! I wasn't the one who broke a really simple promise." She picked up her purse and glared at him rubbing his head where she had hit him.  
  
"I wasn't asleep at all Asuka. I was just thinking to myself right now."  
  
"Liar! I know that you were asleep right now and you're just trying to escape a beating from me." Shinji got up and put on his jacket.  
  
"Let's just go." Asuka stared at him getting ready to leave. She got up and put on her jacket that was black just like Shinji's. She felt like he was always ignoring her so she tried her best to not let him get on her nerves.  
  
"Fine but let me get the list." She ran to the kitchen and picked up the piece of paper that was on the counter. Shinji opened the door because he wanted to see what the weather outside was like. It was lightly drizzling droplets of cold rain and the wind caused a chill down his spine. The darkness was brightened by the full moon that gave Shinji the chills. Asuka ran out the door like a flash of light and Shinji didn't notice until she pulled on his arm. He glanced at the moon while he walked down the hall with the girl who was always on his mind.  
  
Shinji found himself in the subway with Asuka. He felt like he had been in a trance because he didn't remember how he got there. His eyes widened once he caught Asuka deeply gazing at him. She immediately turned away when he opened his eyes. She had a feeling something or someone was on his mind and it was troubling him. She was worried that he thought she liked him but she was just wondering about him being out of it. The subway was empty but more and more people crowded the small teenagers. Shinji didn't care about the people but he was thinking about something else, though the closeness irritated Asuka out of her mind.  
  
Finally they arrived at their stop and Asuka got up. Shinji still was sitting down so Asuka had to pull him with her. "Ohh!" He said as he saw that it was their spot so both of them squeezed through the mass crowds of people in both the subway and at the station.  
  
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Shinji sat in his room eating a sandwich he had made in a few minutes. Asuka walked in his room and sat down on the bed. "What's wrong with you today? You've been acting pretty weird and it's freaking me out cause you usually act pretty happy." He smiled once she showed some kindness towards him. "Come on talk!" she screamed impatiently.  
  
"It's just nothing for you to worry about," he looked at Asuka who had a face of pure disgust.  
  
"Who said I was actually worried about an imbecile like you!" She quickly turned away from him as if she had been greatly insulted.  
  
"Thanks for caring about me despite the fact you deny it though," he laughed and Asuka smiled at him. Her smile was something that was rare to him and it was good to see that she wasn't forcing it upon herself. Shinji kept on laughing and bashfully looked to the floor while blushing. Asuka started laughing and accidentally fell down. He fell too and they were face to face. She looked in his eyes and brushed his bangs out of his face. She was about to kiss him and he closed his eyes.  
  
Then someone knocked on the door. Shinji got up and Asuka covered her mouth in surprise that she was about to kiss Shinji. He opened the door and saw Kaworu smiling at him. "I came to apologize for being so mean to you." He looked in back of Shinji and saw Asuka weirdly staring at him. "Oh was I interrupting something right now because it looks like you two were doing something." Asuka was actually glad Kaworu came and stopped her from kissing Shinji for the second time. For once she wanted for Kaworu to stay longer to save awkwardness between her and Shinji. She pulled Kaworu in and Kaworu didn't know what was wrong with her.  
  
"Why don't you come in and eat something. You could be our company since Misato isn't here with us and it is quite sad when it's just me and Shinji alone. So just sit down while I fix something up for you," she forced a smile on her nervous face. Kaworu stared at her worriedly at the attitude change and sat down on the couch. He was concerned that Shinji and Asuka were dating. His heart suddenly started to ache at the thought of the redhead taking advantage of Shinji. He wanted to protect Shinji from her but Shinji didn't want to accept the advice from him because he was blinded by love. Though, the strange thing was that so was Kaworu.  
  
Shinji smiled at him as he sat on the couch with Kaworu. Asuka ran off to make sandwiches and to avoid being with them. She took out everything she needed and ended up listening to the boys' conversation. She looked at them from around the corner but she couldn't hear them very well because they were whispering. Then Shinji noticed her wanting to listen to what secret things they were saying.  
  
"So how are the sandwiches going," he said wanting to spoil what she was trying to do.  
  
"Oh I'm bearly starting right now my dear Shinji!" She tried to hide what she had been doing. Kaworu didn't say anything but grimaced once she mentioned Shinji.  
  
"I'm not hungry so you don't have to make anything at all for me. Though thank you for the nice thought." Asuka jumped back and tried to act friendly to him.  
  
"Sure." she paused for a while, "I'll just go to my room now if you don't mind."  
  
"No.no I'll just leave. I already told Shinji what I wanted to tell him so you two could be alone just like you obviously want." He sarcastically smiled at her and was about to walk out the door. "I know you were about to kiss him so why don't you." Shinji and Asuka were left behind with surprised faces as he closed the door.  
  
"How did he know that Shinji?" She said accusingly to him.  
  
"But I didn't tell him anything Asuka." He said hoping she wouldn't hit him in any way. Asuka suspected he was talking behind her back.  
  
"Anyway, YOU were the one who was trying to kiss me!!! I was innocent one in this story and when would I ever like a loser like you! You know I'd never want to kiss you ever again ever since that other time. If you ask me I wasted my first kiss. It should have been with someone strong that could hold me in his arms like Kaji but NOOOO I had to lower my standards by kissing you!" Shinji glared at her.  
  
"Well you ruined the whole kiss when you tried to suffocate me."  
  
"I only held your nose you could of breathed through you mouth!!!"  
  
"Oh yeah . you were freaking kissing me!! Remember you took your sweet ass time and I couldn't breathe!!" He screamed back at her. She got irritated with him so she gave him the cold shoulder and rushed into her room. Shinji stood in the doorway remembering what had almost happened that night and it was something he wanted all this time no matter how much he denied. He slouched down as he walked to the television hoping for something to see to make him forget everything. His body was tired from the whole stressful day and he sat down on the couch. The apartment felt like it was isolated with no one except him. He looked at the ceiling finding himself slowly falling asleep. Asuka started to make noise in her room but he couldn't find the strength or the will to talk to her after the argument. Everything was blurring once the sleep started to catch up to him. Suddenly a thought came to mind before he completely fell asleep; he was in love with Asuka.  
  
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So you could know it will become more depressing the farther it goes. I think by the fourth chapter Rei comes in. ^_^ I will get the third chapter in soon. 


	3. Sorrow

Wow! Thanks for reading my third chapter. Oh, yeah I kept on forgetting the disclaimer. Evangelion is owned by Gainax and not me. Well, you can now read. ^_^  
  
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Shinji woke up to someone shaking him. His tired eyes opened and he saw Asuka was the one shaking him. "You better thank me for waking you up so you won't be late to school!" He rubbed his eyes and clearly saw her enraged face. It was typical to see her like this in the morning so he couldn't help smiling at the fact nothing had changed. She didn't exactly seem to be as happy as he was. He got up and started to get ready for school while she was impatiently tapping her foot. Shinji looked at his reflection and fixed his hair but saw Asuka was brushing her hair out of her face. "Hurry up Shin-chan!" He ran to his room and got his book bag as fast as he could. Both of them went running to class and made it before the bell rang.  
  
Typically Rei wasn't there and the teacher sighed in irritation that she was missing too much school. Everyone in the class was worried about her being gone for so long. Shinji stared at his laptop ignoring what the teacher was writing on the board. He felt like someone was looking at him, he turned and noticed both Asuka, and Kaworu were gazing at him. They both automatically looked back at the teacher once he saw them. Asuka still kept on staring but with the corner of her eye though. Shinji wondered what was wrong with both of his friends or just to make it worse; what was wrong with him.  
  
Before Shinji knew it lunch bell rang and Asuka was trying to get his attention. "It's time for lunch." Shinji sighed.  
  
"I'm not hungry." Asuka sat on the desk in front of him and gave him a worried smile.  
  
"A growing boy like you should eat more to grow up nice and tall. Then you could become a grown man, you know like the kind that isn't starving himself. Not to mention you need to gain weight." She pinched his stomach in response to her pun. "See nothing to pinch."  
  
"You know I usually don't eat in the first place."  
  
"Then why do you still make lunch for yourself?" He questionably looked at his bag of lunch and shrugged.  
  
"I don't know anymore." Asuka pet his head and stood up.  
  
"You're weird," she walked away to Hikari who was waiting for her in the hall. Shinji still sat in his desk in the isolated classroom. No one was with him so he just looked out the window were the sun was hidden by the clouds covering the blue sky. Everything was dark when the sun was completely covered and the whole place became quieter than before. He was miserable but just couldn't talk to anyone about it. Shinji covered his face with his hands and silently cried.  
  
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Asuka ran into the apartment and threw her bag onto the couch enthusiastically. She was glad that the school day was over and that she didn't have any homework. Shinji walked in with a gloomy face but was surprised when Misato approached him with a happy face. "Hi Shin-chan." The woman waved at him hoping Shinji was just as happy as she was. He forced a smile on his face and without a word to his guardian, enclosed himself in his room. Asuka sighed as Shinji passed by her. She brushed her hair onto her back and knocked on his door.  
  
He slid it open and saw Asuka who was in a good mood which was a rare event. "So you could know, I'll make lunch later tonight. I'm not exactly up for it okay."  
  
"What's wrong with you? Is it because we almost kissed yesterday?" Misato was peeking from around the corner and gasped but tried to not make any noise.  
  
"Damn it I shouldn't have left them alone," she mumbled to herself. Asuka lightly pushed Shinji so she could enter his room. She jumped back when she saw how neat it looked. Everything was stacked on top of each other and everything was in the right places.  
  
"Shinji" She turned to look at his face. "We're alone," she decided to get to the point. "About us almost kissing, I'm sorry if I led you on. I just don't like you in that way." He stared at their feet as he felt his heart begin to ache. His eyes closed halfway, trying to hold back any tears.  
  
"I came to expect that statement Asuka. But tell me why did you waste your first kiss on me that other time?" Asuka shrugged.  
  
"I guess I was so excited to grow up and you were the first available guy that was in my grasp," suddenly there was an awkward silence as Asuka tried to think of what else to say. She looked at his dark blue eyes and touched his face. Suddenly she kissed him. Shinji raised his arms but didn't know if he could hold her in his arms. She closed her eyes and stroked his face as if she loved him with all her heart. Then she reluctantly let go of his lips and blushed. Shinji had a surprised look on his face because it was so sudden to him.  
  
"Why did you just kiss me Asuka?" Shinji didn't know what to think anymore. She had clearly stated that she wasn't interested in him but the kiss just threw him off track of thought. Asuka looked at him with full of surprise and ran out the door. He touched his lips with his fingertips remembering when her warm lips were planted on them. He shook his head as if trying to forget about what had just happened but he found he couldn't.  
  
Then someone knocked on his door and he heard Misato's worried voice, "Shinji I'm gonna come in" She slowly slid the door open and saw Shinji trying to wipe his mouth, worried he might have lipstick on him. Misato smiled at him," Did Asuka just cuss you out or something because she was in here for a while." Shinji nodded at her and was hoping she wouldn't ask him anymore questions.  
  
"She just talked to me for a while."  
  
"About what? Are you two friends because that would scare me," she said as she fixed her hair because she had just finished changing.  
  
"No not that I know of. She just helped me with a problem I didn't know. You know she really smart for a person her age, I guess she's a genius when it comes to schooling."  
  
"I wouldn't exactly say that, her grades are extremely low. Maybe German education is much different from Japanese schooling. All I can say is that don't exactly depend on the answer or the explanation she gave you." Asuka opened the abruptly to see Misato and Shinji talking about her. Both of the victim's eyes widened at the sight of an angered Asuka who was twitching. She glared at them and walked away in a huff. As if everything wasn't already going wrong, now even Misato was talking behind her back.  
  
"Oh I was the one who was talking about you're bad grades. Shinji was just complementing you."  
  
. Shinji didn't say anything but just blushed as he saw her pass by. He felt weird about her so he tried his best to not draw any attention to himself.  
  
"I'll get you later my little Shin-chan," she said ruthlessly from across the hall. "I know you were talking about me too." Shinji shivered at the thought of being beat up again. Misato smiled at Shinji and pet his head.  
  
"Remember to start making dinner tonight, Shinji." Shinji closed his eyes as Misato slid the door closed. Her statement didn't really assure him at all but stressed him more. He knew that if he even walked out his bedroom door that Asuka would beat him up so he stayed in his room for as long as he could.  
  
A few minutes later Misato knocked on his door and announced," Uhh. Shinji I'll be going out tonight so I'll leave you alone with Asuka. Remember Shinji FIGHT BACK!!!" Shinji forced a smile at Misato's advice that would never work when it came to him. He closed his eyes expecting for Asuka to storm in his room once Misato slammed the front door. Instead, she knocked on the door.  
  
"Shinji, I want to talk to you about something." Shinji sat up and slowly slid the door open. She blinked and suddenly she looked like she was innocent at that moment. "Hello Shinji," she smiled at him, "don't you dare tell anyone about what happened." Shinji felt another blow and he felt worse.  
  
"I know you lowered your standards and you don't want anyone to know about it. I am an embarrassment to you, so why don't you go away before someone catches us actually talking." He looked at the floor tightly gripping the bed sheets as he felt tears falling down his face.  
  
"Wow you really understand me! You just saved me all of the excruciating explaining." It hurt him when she admitted to his sarcastic remark and he turned away from her as the pain worsened like someone had stabbed his heart. He stood up angrily. He had enough and everything he had kept inside was causing him to feel aggressive.  
  
"You bitch!" He slapped her as if all that was bottled up had exploded in that one slap. Asuka touched where he had hit her. "I've had enough!"  
  
"What the hell was that for! Why did you hit me! I was just saying the truth Shinji," she ran away from him to go get an ice pack because her face was swelling. He ran after her and grabbed her arm to make her stop running away from him. She pulled her arm away and gave him a cold glare. "Now I'm gonna be so embarrassed when I go to school with a big bruise! I hate you!"  
  
"Guess how I feel everyday. You just got what you always gave to me." Asuka backed away from him so she wouldn't be too close to him. She got out an ice pack and placed it on her cheek.  
  
"You know it's against the rules to hit a girl. I'm just going to tell Misato about you hitting me and we'll both see what happens to you," she smirked and turned away from Shinji.  
  
Shinji walked away from her to his room and turned towards her suddenly," If you hated me so much then why did you kiss me two times?" He looked at her angered expression and ran into his room in fear of what might happen. Asuka thought to herself while sitting in the kitchen chair. Was she being too mean to everyone? She knew that she had hurt Shinji so many times but she didn't want to be too nice to him. The thing she was scared of most was actually falling in love with someone that wasn't Kaji. Though she felt like she was drifting away from Kaji ever since he started dating Misato. He loved her with all his heart but Asuka didn't want to notice. She placed her hands on her face and rubbed her eyes to check if everything was dream.  
  
Shinji laid himself on his bed in his dark and gloomy room. He helplessly wiped away his tears with his hands but the tears wouldn't stop. He didn't know what to think about Asuka because at times he hated her but then he still loved her. It made him feel angry towards her whenever she was being a nuisance and she didn't appreciate anything about him. All he wanted was some sort of acceptance from her or even for her to actually love him. Asuka knocked on his door. Shinji looked up as she slid it open. "Can't you just leave me alone!" he screamed at her hoping for her to leave.  
  
Asuka wiped her tears and stared at him. "This is gonna have to stop, Shinji. We need to fix things up." Shinji raised his head and looked back at her.  
  
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I hope you liked it. I don't really wish to make Asuka seem mean. She's like this because of all the things she's going through. I really like Asuka and at times I could relate with her. I just think she's a confused teenager like Shinji. And all you Kaworu fans, he's coming back next chapter. I hope you read chapter four because a lot of things will happen. Please review. 


	4. Conclusion

Okay this is the fourth chapter and sadly, the conclusion of the story. I decided that Rei wasn't needed in this story so I'm sorry all you Rei fans. I don't own Evangelion. Well I think I'm done then. It's kind of short too. XD sorry!  
  
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There was an awkward silence as Asuka stared at Shinji hidden in the dark in his isolated room. He didn't speak at all because he didn't know what else to say to her. She paused and looked away from him. The red head turned away from him. There was nothing else to say leaving Shinji to feel guilty that he didn't speak. After all, it was his fault he had hit her but he was too scared to say he was sorry. He didn't mean to hurt her so much but he had grown so tired of being pushed around by her. She walked down the hall, slamming his door and went into her room. Shinji could hear Asuka from the other room and he knew where she was going.  
  
A few minutes passed, when Shinji saw Asuka rushing by to the front door and discreetly left the apartment. He felt like his heart was being ripped apart from guilt of what he had done. She hated him. He didn't like to be hated, it was something he tried his best to prevent. He slammed his door angrily as he cried. "Why do I always have to be such a jerk?" he whispered as he threw his body against the bed hoping he could disappear from this harsh world.  
  
* * *  
  
Kaworu walked towards Shinji's apartment happily humming to himself. Suddenly he saw a red headed girl run past him crying. The first thought that hit his mind was if Shinji was okay. He knew that something was wrong and he immediately held back Asuka by grabbing her arm. She glared at him and punched his stomach, " Don't touch me you bastard!" Kaworu let go of her and held his stomach in pain. "You did this to him! It was your fault he changed!"  
  
"Tell me what happened to Shinji!" he looked concerned and Asuka backed away. His heart stared to beat fast as he stared to worry.  
  
"He hit me! The little jackass hit me!" Kaworu looked at her in disbelief. He couldn't imagine Shinji would hit someone he loved so much, but Shinji was too innocent to do that. Asuka deeply stared at him as if wishing she could kill him at that moment, "Kaworu, just go away. You don't belong here, all you do is cause more trouble."  
  
"I'm sorry. I'd argue with you right now but I need to go see Shinji," he turned his back towards her and started to walk down the hall. He continued down the same path to the apartment. Asuka started to cry but he didn't stall to look at her again.  
  
"Did you not hear what I said! You don't belong here Kaworu!" she screamed loudly but her voice started to die down from how hard she was crying. "Can't you understand?" sharp pains ran down her ribs causing her to fall on the floor. "I love Shinji," she mumbled. The boy stopped walking and slowly looked at her. His eyes were glowing with hatred towards her. "It's like his heart is slipping from my grasp because of you."  
  
Kaworu stared down at her, widely smiling, "I didn't do that, you did that yourself."  
  
* * *  
  
Shinji silently cried as he held his pillow tightly. He couldn't stand life anymore and started to feel self-pity towards himself. There was only one thing to do. He helplessly looked around his room for something to kill himself with. His room was too dark so he found it hard to see anything. Shinji got off his bed and opened the door. Across the hall was the kitchen and he saw a knife on the countertop.  
  
He slowly walked down the hall and held the knife in his hands staring at his reflection. His heart started to beat at the thought of taking his life, he felt scared. His eyes closed and he ignored his fright. The cold blade touched his vein and he felt a chill run down his body. Suddenly someone rang the doorbell and he jumped up, cutting his wrist. A cut appeared on his arm and blood squirted out of his arm.  
  
He fell on the kitchen floor because he felt weak from the blood he was loosing too fast. Kaworu ran through the door and frantically screamed, "Oh my god! Shinji!" What he saw surprised him so he immediately grabbed a towel to stop the bleeding. He kneeled in front of Shinji and put pressure on the cut, "Shinji, why did you try to kill yourself!" He screamed hoping to put some sense into Shinji but it didn't seem to work.  
  
"Why should I bother living if no one cares. I always hurt everyone and I'm tired of being so miserable about it," Shinji mumbled as Kaworu tightened his grip. He looked in Shinji's eyes and found himself crying for the first time.  
  
"I care Shinji! Don't try to kill yourself, I need you," Kaworu looked at the floor avoiding Shinji's reaction.  
  
"Why would anyone need me? I'm just a useless being," suddenly Kaworu held Shinji's hands and smiled happily but still he was crying.  
  
"Can't you tell? I love you," he pulled the weak boy towards him and embraced him in his arms. Shinji sniffled and hugged him back. "Asuka isn't worth it Shinji," He whispered as he reluctantly let go. He got some bandages and wrapped it around the long cut. "I promise, I'll take care of you,"  
  
"Really?" Shinji asked.  
  
"Yes," he closed his eyes and kissed Shinji. There was a long silence as if time had froze. Kaworu smiled as his heart beated rapidly, maybe for once he wouldn't have to feel pain anymore. Finally relieved, he realized that he was in love.  
  
* * *  
  
I hope you liked this fic. I'm sorry it was so sudden I concluded this but when I was writing, I had come to a good ending. If you want me to write a continuation to this, I will but if enough people asked. If not, I'll be happy either way. Please read and review! 


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